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Literature Text
I stood here
Waving you goodbye
Blinking back a tear
You formed a little smile
Silent tears
Trickled down my face
The pain was fierce
As you began your pace
You said you\'ll miss me
Every minute in every day
You said wherever you\'ll be
The memories of me wouldn\'t fade away
I believe in you
Believe your words were true
You\'ll miss me you said you\'ll always do
And so I\'ll be thinking of you too
Waving you goodbye
Blinking back a tear
You formed a little smile
Silent tears
Trickled down my face
The pain was fierce
As you began your pace
You said you\'ll miss me
Every minute in every day
You said wherever you\'ll be
The memories of me wouldn\'t fade away
I believe in you
Believe your words were true
You\'ll miss me you said you\'ll always do
And so I\'ll be thinking of you too
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Written for a friend
© 2003 - 2024 sirius-angel
Comments2
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Try to be a little more original. Especially "silent tears" stroke out as clichéd and corny and the last stanza... well. The rhymes were ok mostly, but I think it went out of rhythm several times, worst being the two longest lines. Removing "of me" would help. Some other pronomines should be removed too, IMO, there are quite a lot of them. In one line there are four pronomines! I also think that since the poem began with you standing, it should end with something similar, not just clichéd emotional abstractions. Try to be a little more concrete.